So as it is right now, I feel absolutely empty and it really fucking sucks. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you where as you’ve probably easily forgotten about me, and as slow as time goes by, it’s not really getting any easier, it’s just becoming manageable. I literally lost my best friend and I don’t know if you’re ever going to truly understand how much you meant to me. I’m tripping over missing you and you don’t even have the decency to at least respond to the texts I last sent you..
It’s weird driving home at night and hoping wherever you are, you’re okay, and wondering if you had a good day, or if you had a bad day, wishing I could see you and talk to you, I know that If that happened though I would be hurting myself even more, I never wanted this to be it. I didn’t want you to push me away for any reason, I was happy, very happy, but now, not so much. The only thing I would tell you in person is that I still think you made a mistake leaving this behind, I don’t and won’t ever care what negative things you have to say about yourself are, because they aren’t what I think.
Please don’t assume that I’m better off now, or happy, because to face the facts, I’m anything but. I’m stupidly going through the motions of this and I hate it. People keep saying to fight for what I want but I’ve been fighting this entire time to keep you, and now I’m exhausted, you always wanted someone who would believe in you, who would see the best in you, and I did, I still do, I know that if you set out to be what you think you can, you can actually achieve that. I don’t want to say I’m done fighting to keep you, but it’s clear to me you are done fighting for me, so I have to give up now. I respect what you want, and I guess that’s what you need most from me, is to accept this is what you want. I won’t ever agree with it though, and I may just be throwing my feelings out there but It’s all I’ve got. Feelings, and true as it is, you were not perfect, you made mistakes, but you always did your best to make me happy and that’s all I can ask for. You didn’t have to be someone else to make me happy, I loved and still love who you are, your flaws don’t define you.
So if you’ve moved on, I understand, where ever you are at this point, I hope you’re happy, and I hope that get everything you want. Always remember no one is perfect, there is no definition of what it takes to be considered perfect, all we are is human, and we make plenty mistakes. We learn, we grow, we accept, and we conquer. We take charge of what we want, we are in control of our lives, decisions, mistakes. This is how we teach, we have to go through things to learn ourselves, this is life.